Cell-f-ish

Did you know that there is a space for post titles? Sometimes I miss the obvious. Until 2012 I thought that ski hills were made by God. Seriously. I thought developers put lifts into the natural places that God left tree-free.

It has been a week since my dumb smart phone stopped working. I tried every fix there was to try. I quickly accepted that it was done, and counted my blessings that not much of value was locked away in it. Photos and videos had been recently backed up. The notes we made during the tot's birth were written into her log book.

A few weeks before the demise of my phone started to question the hold that that little screen had on me. I was aware that I needed to put it down more. To play more. To chore more. To listen to my best friend more. To not check in for notifications which, truth be told, mostly had no impact on my day to day life. It was a quick journey from limiting smart phone screen time to having no phone at all.

It has been a week of trying to decide what kind of phone my next phone should be. I have decided that I will activate a smartphone that we had kicking around after my husband needed to upgrade to an Apple phone.

A few lessons learned this week
*bubble bath ingredients are only an interesting read the first couple of times. I  need books or magazines in the bathroom

*my husband says interesting stuff. I need to tune in way more

*my kid is happy that my phone is gone. I will not disappoint her with the new phone.

*a cell phone is not required for lrt rides, car rides, time spent down town. I do not need to be easy to reach.

Fall of 2014 could be the first year of formal preschool/preschool for profit/a 2 hour break under the guise of socialization. You probably see where I stand on the need for preschool for our tot.

I've decided that for this year and next we will enroll her in Mama Preschool. The program is simple. Get out, enjoy the world you live in, and play!

Let Them Play

I think planning 10 months of play experiences will be a good place to start in extending hope and joy beyond day to day.

-v

* I used to know where commas belonged, and how to form complex sentences. It will come back to me. Hopefully. Likely once I start reading, and not merely collecting, the books beside my bed.

According to a piece of paper tucked into our fire safe I am going to turn 40 this year.
And if I am going to turn 40 I would like presents.

Had to be said.

When you grow up.

I've been at this mom thing for just a little over 3 years now. The big fat positive that marked the beginning came in April 2011.

For as long as I can remember, my attitude toward relationships has been to take things as they come. Day by day. Cherish the moments. I have been fortunate to savour every day of motherhood. Every single one. I can honestly say that I have no regrets in how I have mothered this little human.

I was chugging along steadily until 2014.

I believe that I have shifted from a healthy dose of daily gratitude to a lack of hope that there will be a tomorrow. Overstated? Perhaps.

This year and last year showed me that children die. Of course I have always known that but it's always been more of an arm's length type of knowledge. In 2014, in my personal circle, 2 children have passed away and a 3rd child is has been recently diagnosed with cancer. Not a fun, easily treatable kind of cancer but a brand of leukemia that is best caught when you are male and younger than 2. She is inching close to 3.

I am not quite sure where I go from here. How to regain hope that this little person by my side will have her chance to become a preschooler, a tween, a teen. That she will have friends, and lovers and such. And then to regain the hope that I will live long enough to see all the wonder that will be the life she lives.

My presence here to you is brought by a challenge.
See: http://www.bisonweb.ca/blog/archives/746

In my brain: Challenge = Competition. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a teeny bit competitive so that is hopefully the motivation I need to set moments aside every day for some sort of posting.

Today's post is a quick update of where things left off in Feb. 2011.

2011 Taxes were recently completed. Actually 2012 was also very recently completed. The assessment is still on our table. Yes on the dining room table. I vowed to keep the island clear of papers and general clutter. The result is the table is covered. Island looks amazing though.

The end of 2011 brought a tiny human into our lives. Like my husband, she is not interested in social networking or public sharing.

My challenge is to come up with a month of  blog topics that do not implicate the humans I reside with.

Caffeine reduced mascot wife

After a couple of months of all-day-sickness and a month of general exhaustion I am finally feeling ready for some blogging.

My husband and I are expecting baby #1 and I feel like I should write a book called "My Changing Body: Pregnancy Edition". It seems that there's a new surprise every few days. Tonight's treat was when I went to tidy up with a little shaving and I couldn't see over my belly to the area in need of attention. Awesome.

Grump

I have been a grumpy, anti-social, uninspired grump head lately. I think I need a visit to a book store or library so that I can choose something motivational to read. Something with to-do lists would be helpful. Perhas I could find such lists on line.

Since I was 6 I've thought of Sundays as a day to rest and hang out with friends/family. When I was 12 there was a bowling tournament on a Sunday and I had to fight with my Baba to be allowed to take part. I have the conversation on a cassette somewhere. Hmm, I should find it. The mister's busiest chore days are Sundays. In this way we do not match up. It's not a problem though. It is just the one day where we really spend most of it doing our own thing.

I am quite thrilled with the garden we have this year. Lots of edibles. I am especially excited about leeks and beets.

That's all I've got for now.