not Kid Friendly

Eating out as a family now means choosing kid welcoming restaurants. 

My top picks

*Cactus club Jasper Ave

*Famoso

*Guru

*Chianti -whyte

*Urban diner

I think I shall shift focus a little and dedicate some time to a project I shall call Foodie Family Faves and Flops. 

cookies

Today is not a day for healthy cookies.
We baked 3 versions of oatmeal cookies: plain, chocolate (milk and white#, and raisin coconut.

Of course we needed to sample a cookie to be sure they are tasty enough to share. Of course I explained why had to stop at 1 cookie but we could have a 2 nd cookie when the guests arrive. And of course I stealthily devoured 2 cookies as soon as nap time was in progress.

All versions are share worthy.

In an hour or so our home will be opened to a couple of grieving friends. I do not know what to say but I do have a good handle on what not to say. And sometimes it is better to not say a word. Say nothing. Offer tea and cookies. And cry.

After at least 7 false starts, I am calling it a night. 

Tomorrow requires a rested me. And cookies.  

Nap when they nap

Prior to becoming a mom I am sure I looked forward to the event that would be known as napping-when-they-nap.

Advice at the shower included: nap when baby naps.

Words spoken to me when I looked/look tired: Nap when the tot naps.

Here's the thing: I am not a man-napper. I can not simply plop on a chair, couch, floor and commence snoring. I typically need time to unwind, pee, perhaps eat something that is non-nutritive but oh so yummy.

Once I am fed and watered and pottied it is possible that I could fall asleep. You know what is worse than no nap? Falling asleep and being woken up 10 minutes later.

Very few in my mom circle nap-when-they-nap. There are other things to do. This is not being a busy martyr mom. This is, for me, sanity saving.

For me, I find it incredibly rejuvenating to just be. To be quiet. To not be talked to. To numb my brain with screen time. To read a few pages of a book. To selfishly whittle away those moments doing whatever the heck I feel like doing.

My advice to new moms: do whatever the heck you want to do when they nap. As long as it isn't cocaine. Don't do that.

big plans

I was going to turn on my computer, settle in with a cup of tea, and write some witty quips or insights.

Plan B: Use phone, the replacement phone, and possibly half-ass my way through a post while not crinkling the matress protector thing on our bed sharing bed. The matress covers should come with a noise rating.

I have heard talk and read tales of this thing referred to as The Ache. Some always present longing for just one more baby. I lack this. I have tried to pick at my subconscious for any evidence of longing but I cannot find a thing but thankfulness for all we do have in this family of 3.

I held a perfect 3 month old human today. I loved her instantly but no ache. Just joy that her mama has another wee one to cherish.

I am content and blessed and 100%  ache free.

Let's go right

This day in 5 steps

1. Load Google maps and pick a family friendly cycling route. Bonus points for choosing a route we'd never taken.

2. Feed hungry bodies.

3. Get on my bike, be the lead, and ride. Pedal away every thought. Pedal hard. Fail at a hill. Go back to the bottom. And try again. Make it this time!

4. Stop at look out points to take in and share the beauty with my family.

5. Come home. Sweaty. Delighted. And ready for the week ahead.

Oh and 6. Feed hungry bodies again.

rest a little

It is time to be done with this day.

Today I learned that my first Momboss unexpectedly lost her mom, and her aunt and uncle. A formee charge lost one of the sweetest grandmother's I had met during my nanny career.

A tot in my world is asking why she is in pain. No notyet3 year old should wonder that.

I am weary tonight.

Spare time

One of the things that I do in my down time is organize outings for moms in our neighbourhood. The desire to do this started when I was hired as a nanny to work for Modern Mama events. I love the idea of getting moms out together but I do not see myself offering such gatherings as a business. I see it is a nurturing thing to do. For free. For social gain. As a way to help us find our village

Over the past 2 years we have grown to a group 153 neighbour moms. We don't all get together every time. The largest play time was a group of 19 kids and their moms. Casual. Lattes. A field of free play. Perfection.

Today I was fortunate to meet 3 new neighbours. To have real, not for profit conversations.

Funny thing is, I am mostly an introvert.

I am trying hard to keep the tot's childhood filled with free-fun. This gets more challenging every year. I've opted for one for-pay class in the fall as I am not skilled at all things and I think having a pro teach us how to dance will be immeasurably better than me sharing my wealth of dance moves.

Judgment calls

A fair bit of my daily emotion is an offshoot of time spent reading blogs, message boards, and FB group posts.

Today's rage is brought to you by someone describing something as judgemental when there was not any judgement in the original post at all. Basically, personA said that they were exposed to something that made them uncomfortable. PersonH was up in arms because personA was judging people rather than communicating with them. I apologize for putting you through that sentence, and back story but it is better I vent it here than on my husband at the end of the poor guy's work day.

I do not believe that it is judgemental to say that a friend's style of parenting, clothing, music, relationships, or cooking makes me uncomfortable. The discomfort is a statement about ME! Not about you/YOU.

Observing differences does not equal judgement.

Also, disagreeing with big words is not the same as being a bully. Not completely unrelated: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/signe-whitson/bullying_b_2188819.html

Cell-f-ish

Did you know that there is a space for post titles? Sometimes I miss the obvious. Until 2012 I thought that ski hills were made by God. Seriously. I thought developers put lifts into the natural places that God left tree-free.

It has been a week since my dumb smart phone stopped working. I tried every fix there was to try. I quickly accepted that it was done, and counted my blessings that not much of value was locked away in it. Photos and videos had been recently backed up. The notes we made during the tot's birth were written into her log book.

A few weeks before the demise of my phone started to question the hold that that little screen had on me. I was aware that I needed to put it down more. To play more. To chore more. To listen to my best friend more. To not check in for notifications which, truth be told, mostly had no impact on my day to day life. It was a quick journey from limiting smart phone screen time to having no phone at all.

It has been a week of trying to decide what kind of phone my next phone should be. I have decided that I will activate a smartphone that we had kicking around after my husband needed to upgrade to an Apple phone.

A few lessons learned this week
*bubble bath ingredients are only an interesting read the first couple of times. I  need books or magazines in the bathroom

*my husband says interesting stuff. I need to tune in way more

*my kid is happy that my phone is gone. I will not disappoint her with the new phone.

*a cell phone is not required for lrt rides, car rides, time spent down town. I do not need to be easy to reach.

Fall of 2014 could be the first year of formal preschool/preschool for profit/a 2 hour break under the guise of socialization. You probably see where I stand on the need for preschool for our tot.

I've decided that for this year and next we will enroll her in Mama Preschool. The program is simple. Get out, enjoy the world you live in, and play!

Let Them Play

I think planning 10 months of play experiences will be a good place to start in extending hope and joy beyond day to day.

-v

* I used to know where commas belonged, and how to form complex sentences. It will come back to me. Hopefully. Likely once I start reading, and not merely collecting, the books beside my bed.

According to a piece of paper tucked into our fire safe I am going to turn 40 this year.
And if I am going to turn 40 I would like presents.

Had to be said.

When you grow up.

I've been at this mom thing for just a little over 3 years now. The big fat positive that marked the beginning came in April 2011.

For as long as I can remember, my attitude toward relationships has been to take things as they come. Day by day. Cherish the moments. I have been fortunate to savour every day of motherhood. Every single one. I can honestly say that I have no regrets in how I have mothered this little human.

I was chugging along steadily until 2014.

I believe that I have shifted from a healthy dose of daily gratitude to a lack of hope that there will be a tomorrow. Overstated? Perhaps.

This year and last year showed me that children die. Of course I have always known that but it's always been more of an arm's length type of knowledge. In 2014, in my personal circle, 2 children have passed away and a 3rd child is has been recently diagnosed with cancer. Not a fun, easily treatable kind of cancer but a brand of leukemia that is best caught when you are male and younger than 2. She is inching close to 3.

I am not quite sure where I go from here. How to regain hope that this little person by my side will have her chance to become a preschooler, a tween, a teen. That she will have friends, and lovers and such. And then to regain the hope that I will live long enough to see all the wonder that will be the life she lives.

My presence here to you is brought by a challenge.
See: http://www.bisonweb.ca/blog/archives/746

In my brain: Challenge = Competition. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a teeny bit competitive so that is hopefully the motivation I need to set moments aside every day for some sort of posting.

Today's post is a quick update of where things left off in Feb. 2011.

2011 Taxes were recently completed. Actually 2012 was also very recently completed. The assessment is still on our table. Yes on the dining room table. I vowed to keep the island clear of papers and general clutter. The result is the table is covered. Island looks amazing though.

The end of 2011 brought a tiny human into our lives. Like my husband, she is not interested in social networking or public sharing.

My challenge is to come up with a month of  blog topics that do not implicate the humans I reside with.